Post by Admin on Aug 20, 2006 7:51:36 GMT
20 August 2006
I'VE BEEN BEATEN UP, BULLIED & ABUSED, MY LIFE WAS HELL
BIG BROTHER EXCLUSIVE AISLEYNE: MY STORY
By Grant Hodgson And Susie Boniface
AISLEYNE Horgan-Wallace tells today for the first time how she had to fight from the gutter to become queen of Big Brother.
She reveals that her parents' split when she was only three tore her apart, how she was violently bullied at school and, at 16, ended up in a hostel full of junkies and abused girls.
And she also tells how her mum was such a strict Jehovah's Witness that Aisleyne never received any presents at Christmas or on her birthday.
The troubled blonde's torments began when she was just three and her parents split.
Their relationship was so bitter neither would let the other into Aisleyne's life.
Wiping away tears, she said: "I love them both so much. My mum raised me as a single parent and my dad hunted for me for years.
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"It's just that the way things were between them meant I could never be with both. When I lived with my mum she didn't want me to see my dad, and when I lived with my dad it was impossible to see her.
"It's my biggest sadness and I just hope that one day we can all sit down together as a family and be together."
Aisleyne's mum Sophia Horgan raised her daughter in a small Kentish Town flat in North London, sending her to after-school clubs while she worked as a fashion designer, making clothes for punk singer Siouxsie Sioux among others.
Aisleyne said: "My mum did the best she could but then she lost her job and things were hard. Money was very tight and it was tough to pay the bills.
"I used to go to after-school groups all the time because she was working. She never had another boyfriend, so there were no father-figures coming and going, it was just me and her. It's just that money was tight. I used to have to work in a hairdresser's on Saturdays when I was 13. I was paid £12 a day and had to spend it all getting to school."
Aisleyne was enrolled in several schools but had to keep moving after having frequent clashes with other pupils.
"When I was at North Westminster, a comprehensive, there were arguments and stuff, bullying. My mum didn't like it, so I got sent to a girl's school called Helen Wilkinson - away from boys and trouble.
"But then I got into trouble there as well. There was a girl picking on some others and I said something cocky which made everyone laugh. She didn't like it, so she decided to get her cousin to come up to school and sort me out. I was about 14.
"It happened one day when I had to go back to school late on my own. I'd forgotten my mum's umbrella, which I'd borrowed, and had to go back to pick it up.
"This girl came down the stairs and found me on my own. She had two snooker balls in a sock and battered me with it, and then smashed me over the head with the umbrella. I was in hospital for a week with cracked cheekbones, cuts and bruises.
"I got in scrapes because I wasn't afraid to stand up for myself - a bit like the BB house really. It brought it all back when I had to evict Jonathan. It was like bullying all over again."
Two years later, life took a turn for the worse when Aisleyne left home after a huge fallout with her mum.
She said: "We just realised we couldn't carry on living together.
"My mum's always been interested in religion, she's Irish and comes from strong Catholic religious background. When I was about eight, she became a Jehovah's Witness. She used to take me to meetings and I stuff. She was only trying to better my life and make sure I stayed on the straight and narrow, but I couldn't see that at the time. I just wanted to rebel.
"Our arguments were just building up all the time like a volcano waiting to explode.
"It was that one night I finally snapped. I grabbed a few clothes, threw them into a bag and walked out. I had nowhere to go, I had about £6 in my purse.
"By then, I did have a close circle of girlfriends, I phoned around - one of them was always willing to put me up for the night. That night I went to a friend's a few streets away, her mum was out so she had a free flat. We spent the night talking I realised I could never go home.
"I moved from friend's floor to friend's floor until someone advised me to go a women's hostel."
At 16, Aisleyne found her way to a hostel where she was given space in a warden-operated shared flat with junkies, runaways and girls who had been abused.
She said: "It was the best and worst of times. It was so overwhelming. I was alone. The isolation came back in the Big Brother house - it was very similar.
"I have some wicked memories of it and, fortunately for me, my hostel was decent. It wasn't too strict but it was a mad time, I had so much freedom. I met some girls there who are still my friends now and others who've been through a lot, had a real tough time, tougher than me.
"I joined a gang of girls who went out clubbing and I totally loved it. Dancing and haying fun - it was something I'd never been able to do before."
She held down various jobs in shoe shops and as a promotions girl, and even won a grant from the Prince's Trust so she could do a beauty therapy course at college.
But something was still not right in her life. She said: "I was trying to get on my feet, I really was. But something always seemed to be missing."
But that was put right shortly after her 18th birthday when Aisleyne had a call saying her dad was trying to find her.
She said: "I left home partly because I wanted my independence and to find my dad, and my mum couldn't stand that.
"I used to fantasise about my dad when I was a girl. I would write him letters and leave them on the windowsill outside my bedroom thinking he'd read them somehow. When I was walking down the street, I'd look at the men and wonder if they were him. All I knew was his name and I had an old passport photo, but that was all.
"One year he left Christmas presents on the front doorstep, which was great because we never celebrated birthdays or Christmas because of my mum's religion. But that was the only contact."
Then one day the warden at the hostel said her dad was trying to get in touch.
Aisleyne remembered: "I couldn't believe it. The phone in the hostel was a payphone and every time it rang I belted down the hall to answer it before one of the other girls did. When he finally rang he just said, 'Hello, hi? Do you know who this is?' I just burst into tears. I can't remember if I said Dad, Daddy or what. We spoke for 10 or 15 minutes and arranged to meet up in a few days.
"Everyone in the hostel knew he was coming. He drove up in his car and I heard one of the guys shout, 'Oi, Ash, your dad's here'.
"The next thing was a knock on my bedroom door. I burst through the door and threw my arms around him. I knew I'd love him straight away and I did.
"We had such a wicked day together. We went around London and had a McDonald's, just spent time chatting and getting to know each other. A few weeks later I moved out of the hostel and into my own flat."
She added: "My dad and I had our ups and downs. It hasn't been easy. We have such a solid relationship and I don't know where I'd be without it. My mum, on the other hand, is a different story. I saw her twice on the street last year and all she said to me was, 'Leave me alone'. I love her so much, I don't want to say anything bad about her."
Aisleyne said finding her dad gave her new stability in her life.
"The only people I could rely on apart from him were my friends from the hostel and the clubbing scene.They were there for me when no one else was. Dad hated the hostel and I moved in with him for a year, then into another hostel near him in Camden," she said.
In the BB house, Aisleyne was desperate to improve herself and show a "girl from the ghetto" can do as well as anyone else.
She said: "I was determined to claw my way out. I've never been to university and never had the breaks some of the others in the house did but I wanted to prove what I was capable of. I did what I set out to do and I'm proud of myself."
I'VE BEEN BEATEN UP, BULLIED & ABUSED, MY LIFE WAS HELL
BIG BROTHER EXCLUSIVE AISLEYNE: MY STORY
By Grant Hodgson And Susie Boniface
AISLEYNE Horgan-Wallace tells today for the first time how she had to fight from the gutter to become queen of Big Brother.
She reveals that her parents' split when she was only three tore her apart, how she was violently bullied at school and, at 16, ended up in a hostel full of junkies and abused girls.
And she also tells how her mum was such a strict Jehovah's Witness that Aisleyne never received any presents at Christmas or on her birthday.
The troubled blonde's torments began when she was just three and her parents split.
Their relationship was so bitter neither would let the other into Aisleyne's life.
Wiping away tears, she said: "I love them both so much. My mum raised me as a single parent and my dad hunted for me for years.
Advertisement
"It's just that the way things were between them meant I could never be with both. When I lived with my mum she didn't want me to see my dad, and when I lived with my dad it was impossible to see her.
"It's my biggest sadness and I just hope that one day we can all sit down together as a family and be together."
Aisleyne's mum Sophia Horgan raised her daughter in a small Kentish Town flat in North London, sending her to after-school clubs while she worked as a fashion designer, making clothes for punk singer Siouxsie Sioux among others.
Aisleyne said: "My mum did the best she could but then she lost her job and things were hard. Money was very tight and it was tough to pay the bills.
"I used to go to after-school groups all the time because she was working. She never had another boyfriend, so there were no father-figures coming and going, it was just me and her. It's just that money was tight. I used to have to work in a hairdresser's on Saturdays when I was 13. I was paid £12 a day and had to spend it all getting to school."
Aisleyne was enrolled in several schools but had to keep moving after having frequent clashes with other pupils.
"When I was at North Westminster, a comprehensive, there were arguments and stuff, bullying. My mum didn't like it, so I got sent to a girl's school called Helen Wilkinson - away from boys and trouble.
"But then I got into trouble there as well. There was a girl picking on some others and I said something cocky which made everyone laugh. She didn't like it, so she decided to get her cousin to come up to school and sort me out. I was about 14.
"It happened one day when I had to go back to school late on my own. I'd forgotten my mum's umbrella, which I'd borrowed, and had to go back to pick it up.
"This girl came down the stairs and found me on my own. She had two snooker balls in a sock and battered me with it, and then smashed me over the head with the umbrella. I was in hospital for a week with cracked cheekbones, cuts and bruises.
"I got in scrapes because I wasn't afraid to stand up for myself - a bit like the BB house really. It brought it all back when I had to evict Jonathan. It was like bullying all over again."
Two years later, life took a turn for the worse when Aisleyne left home after a huge fallout with her mum.
She said: "We just realised we couldn't carry on living together.
"My mum's always been interested in religion, she's Irish and comes from strong Catholic religious background. When I was about eight, she became a Jehovah's Witness. She used to take me to meetings and I stuff. She was only trying to better my life and make sure I stayed on the straight and narrow, but I couldn't see that at the time. I just wanted to rebel.
"Our arguments were just building up all the time like a volcano waiting to explode.
"It was that one night I finally snapped. I grabbed a few clothes, threw them into a bag and walked out. I had nowhere to go, I had about £6 in my purse.
"By then, I did have a close circle of girlfriends, I phoned around - one of them was always willing to put me up for the night. That night I went to a friend's a few streets away, her mum was out so she had a free flat. We spent the night talking I realised I could never go home.
"I moved from friend's floor to friend's floor until someone advised me to go a women's hostel."
At 16, Aisleyne found her way to a hostel where she was given space in a warden-operated shared flat with junkies, runaways and girls who had been abused.
She said: "It was the best and worst of times. It was so overwhelming. I was alone. The isolation came back in the Big Brother house - it was very similar.
"I have some wicked memories of it and, fortunately for me, my hostel was decent. It wasn't too strict but it was a mad time, I had so much freedom. I met some girls there who are still my friends now and others who've been through a lot, had a real tough time, tougher than me.
"I joined a gang of girls who went out clubbing and I totally loved it. Dancing and haying fun - it was something I'd never been able to do before."
She held down various jobs in shoe shops and as a promotions girl, and even won a grant from the Prince's Trust so she could do a beauty therapy course at college.
But something was still not right in her life. She said: "I was trying to get on my feet, I really was. But something always seemed to be missing."
But that was put right shortly after her 18th birthday when Aisleyne had a call saying her dad was trying to find her.
She said: "I left home partly because I wanted my independence and to find my dad, and my mum couldn't stand that.
"I used to fantasise about my dad when I was a girl. I would write him letters and leave them on the windowsill outside my bedroom thinking he'd read them somehow. When I was walking down the street, I'd look at the men and wonder if they were him. All I knew was his name and I had an old passport photo, but that was all.
"One year he left Christmas presents on the front doorstep, which was great because we never celebrated birthdays or Christmas because of my mum's religion. But that was the only contact."
Then one day the warden at the hostel said her dad was trying to get in touch.
Aisleyne remembered: "I couldn't believe it. The phone in the hostel was a payphone and every time it rang I belted down the hall to answer it before one of the other girls did. When he finally rang he just said, 'Hello, hi? Do you know who this is?' I just burst into tears. I can't remember if I said Dad, Daddy or what. We spoke for 10 or 15 minutes and arranged to meet up in a few days.
"Everyone in the hostel knew he was coming. He drove up in his car and I heard one of the guys shout, 'Oi, Ash, your dad's here'.
"The next thing was a knock on my bedroom door. I burst through the door and threw my arms around him. I knew I'd love him straight away and I did.
"We had such a wicked day together. We went around London and had a McDonald's, just spent time chatting and getting to know each other. A few weeks later I moved out of the hostel and into my own flat."
She added: "My dad and I had our ups and downs. It hasn't been easy. We have such a solid relationship and I don't know where I'd be without it. My mum, on the other hand, is a different story. I saw her twice on the street last year and all she said to me was, 'Leave me alone'. I love her so much, I don't want to say anything bad about her."
Aisleyne said finding her dad gave her new stability in her life.
"The only people I could rely on apart from him were my friends from the hostel and the clubbing scene.They were there for me when no one else was. Dad hated the hostel and I moved in with him for a year, then into another hostel near him in Camden," she said.
In the BB house, Aisleyne was desperate to improve herself and show a "girl from the ghetto" can do as well as anyone else.
She said: "I was determined to claw my way out. I've never been to university and never had the breaks some of the others in the house did but I wanted to prove what I was capable of. I did what I set out to do and I'm proud of myself."
www.sundaymirror.co.uk/news/news/tm_objectid=17591924%26method=full%26siteid=62484-name_page.html
She is such a lovely girl, I hope she has a brill futrue! xx
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